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FRIDAY THE 13TH (2009)

What starts out with some real potential, quickly descends into nothingness as the FRIDAY THE 13th remake becomes another bloody smear on an already battered franchise. Mind you, I was quite excited to see this because I felt Director Marcus Nispel did a respectable job revamping THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE (2003). But alas, this greatly pales in comparison.
The opening of the film is basically a retelling of FRIDAY THE 13th Parts 1 & 2 and for the most part is rather effective. But once the opening title fades, so does any hope for a good film.
The story is a re-used subplot from PART IV; A brother (Jared Padalecki’s Clay Miller) searching for his sister who disappeared and was last seen breathing around Crystal Lake. The already thin plot is expanded around the most generic of B-stories; College students partying it up with beer, drugs and sex!
I thought the characters in FREDDY VS. JASON were bad. They’re practically Shakespearian compared to this lot. Beyond generic stereotypes, they are all grossly underdeveloped and just plain unlikeable. Their deaths are extremely graphic (kudos to the top-quality Make-Up FX), and the body count is high.
Logic is also a victim in the remake. First off, Jason has been living by Crystal Lake for almost 30 years, yet nobody seems concerned by this, especially the police. Given his bloodlust, I find it hard to believe that he hasn’t harmed a soul in all those years. Secondly, the party house that he lays siege on has logically been there for quite some time with, I would assume, people living there at least during the summer months. Why does Jason suddenly have a beef with the occupants this year?
Also, Jason’s M.O. is to kill…Period. Yet he keeps Clay’s sister Whitney (Amanda Righetti) as a prisoner for no apparent reason. The only supposition is that he’s confusing her for his mom because she has Mommy’s favorite locket when he gets her. But then why does he treat “Mommy” so shoddily, locking her up in chains down in his underground lair. I could go on about this plot point, but I won’t bore you with the other lapse of logic associated with it.
The movie looks great, shot by horror vet Daniel Pearl, but unfortunately that just further puts focus on what a missed opportunity this remake was. I honestly hoped that this would be the quintessential FRIDAY THE 13th movie and this time they’d get it right, unfortunately it’s one of the least engaging of the entire series and we become Jason’s true victims.

NOVEMBER 3, 2013