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I was warned that THE COUNSELOR wasn’t that great, but my brain just couldn’t comprehend that a movie with this much star power in front of and behind the camera could be as bad as it ultimately is. 

What a mess! 

The plot couldn’t be more simplistic: A cocksure lawyer known on as “Counselor” (Michael Fassbender) decides to dip his toe into the illegal drug trade to pay off some bad debt. 

His unwise decision will bring down everything and everyone around him, leaving him to deal with the consequences of his actions. 

How you can screw that up with Ridley Scott onboard as Director and Pulitzer Prize winning author Cormac McCarthy at the reigns of the screenplay is more baffling than the lackluster plot that wasted 2 hours of my life. 

The main cast includes not only Fassbender, but Penelope Cruz, Cameron Diaz, Javier Bardem and Brad Pitt. If that wasn’t already a dream cast, supporting roles include the likes of John Leguizamo,Goran Visnjic, Bruno Ganz, Rosie Perez, Edgar Ramirez, BREAKING BAD’s Dean Norris and GAME OF THRONES’ Natalie Dormer. 

When I wasn’t scratching my head trying to figure out why this basic plot was overwritten with such bizarre dialogue and over the top performances, I was staring at the screen in a somnambulist stupor due to how dull and listless the pacing was. 

I REALLY wanted to like this movie, but it was just impossible. I even considered turning it off and giving up on it during the first third, but figured I’ve already committed the time and should at least get a review out of it. 

Much has been said about Cameron Diaz’s “trist” with a sport car. I don’t know what I can add to it that Bardem’s character Reiner didn’t say in the film other than I agree with him. It’s bizarre and not sexy at all. It comes out of left field and even worse is a flashback scene that offers nothing to the plot other than to show how sexually deviant Diaz’s Malkina is. 

Seriously don’t fritter away your time with THE COUNSELOR. It is such a waste of great talent that it will only make you upset that it’s been squandered. Case closed.

JULY 24, 2014